Tired. Shocked. Sad. Emo.

Notwithstanding (OMG I sound so darn "legal" now) the fact that I'm super tired due to stress and work, I HAVE to write this. I HAVE to get this out of me. Someway. Somehow.

Okay, here goes.

As part of my job, I have to call the next-of-kin of deceased employees of X Co. to let them know that the deceased is entitled to like a sum of money from X Co. for various reasons.

Today is the first day I did just that.

I was already prepared to have the next-of-kin break down, because the deceased is a 26 year old guy who passed away 2 months ago.

But I did not expect it to be this bad.

I was all prepared to face the sadness when I called in the morning, but the lady on the other end couldn't hear me, and asked me to call her back after lunch.

Which I didn't, because I was super busy.

And then, a phone call came in. It's her. She asked me who am I.

So I explained to her what this is all about.

She told me she is the mother of the deceased. At that point of time I didn't know how she is related to the deceased because it's not stated anywhere. Just a phone number.

Initially she was composed. She gave me her address and stuffs like that.

After that, she asked me how much money is there. At this point, she sounded a little impatient, like "why the hell are you bothering me with this little sum of money?"

The thing is, it's no little sum. Presently, it's more than RM100,000.00. And there are more to come.

So I told her that.

Then she broke down. She started crying. Like REALLY breathless-crying.

I was stunned. I didn't know what to say. So I kept quiet.

Then she said, "what good is the money for?"

I didn't know what to say.

Already I was struggling because she was speaking in Mandarin.

All I could say was that I hope that money can ease the burden of her family, and that I'm sorry.

She said it's okay, it's not my fault. Told me to just write to her for whatever we need, and she hung up. Crying.

Sadness.

Sigh... This is the beginning. I'll be dealing with a lot of cases like that. And I heard that some of them will even cry when they turn up to sign the papers.

Hope I won't break down with them. =(

Vacation

I am going to Genting Highlands next week!!!

Excited? YES!

But then again, I have my reservations. It's going to be one helluva hectic trip. We'll be driving all the way, and we'll first stop by at KL for a night, and on Saturday, we'll be going up to Genting Highlands for ONLY one night. Sigh...

And you know how it's like when a trip gets too hectic. Everybody's tired, we get cranky, arguments ensue... Fights unfold... You know the flow...

But better than nothing I guess.

Can't wait!

November Babies

November is fast approaching, and there are simply too many November babies! And that is only within the BF's family!

Yes, there are 5 November babies. The BF, the BF's mom, the BF's sister, the BF's future-sister-in-law, and MOI!

And the most difficult one: the BF's birthday.

What to get for him OMG!

I suck with presents, more so when it's for someone dear. I think too much. I'm constantly on a tight budget (surprise, surprise), and I'm always afraid that my present will not be good enough. There is always this battle between getting something practical and getting something romantic but less not practical.

I think I've managed to come up with something, but it's going to take a lot of time and effort. It's practically useless, but I hope it will make him happy.

I wonder what he's going to get me this time. =D

p/s For those of you in the dark, the BF and I share the same birth date. Yes, DATE.

BFFs

Best Friends Forever.

Forever?

Really?

Does "forever" even exists?

Nevermind. I'm just being sceptical.

But scepticism aside, I actually admire/respect/salute people who can have BFFs that stick together for, well, ever?

These people, despite time and distance, actually manage to stay close to each other. There are never awkward moments when they bump into each other. Heck, chances are they rarely get to bump into each other because every meeting is pre-planned.

They tell each other secrets. They bitch about boys, talk about fashion, gossip about everybody under the sky. They stick out for each other no matter what. And they make sure they meet up with each other whenever they have the chance to.

Do I sense jealousy?

To a certain extent, I guess. I've never been able to actually find a friend whom I can be close for a long period of time. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I don't really feel comfortable telling people about my inner secrets, especially those that will show that I am weak.

Everybody I know thinks I'm the happy-go-lucky, always without worry, girl who doesn't stress about a lot of stuffs. I do. I just don't show it.

So, back to BFFs.

I know it's not like nobody wants to be close friends with me. I know quite a number of friends who are super nice people. But somehow, I just can't really open up to them. Have fun, yes. Share secrets, not really.

Plus I've got too many obligations to be able to entertain every single request to hang out. Yes Alvina, if you're reading this, sorry for being a party-pooper.

It's hard when I have family obligations. Every time I want to go out, my parents will, one way or another, make me feel guilty about not spending whatever free time I have with them.

I don't blame them. They're too used to having me around all the time. Now that they have to share me with others, they wouldn't be used to it.

Working life sucks. Mondays to Fridays, I will be spending almost the whole day at work. When night comes, I'll be too tired to go out, hence the pigging around at home, sulking. Saturdays will be spent with the BF. Sundays, with the family. So tell me, when do I have time to actually CHILL with BFFs?

Sometimes it gets lonely. When I have problems that involve people closest to me, I have no one else to turn to. No BFFs for me to spill my heart out.

But I guess that's part of growing up. Nothing is permanent, except for change.

BFFs or not, at least I know that I do have friends around me whom I can count on when it really matters.

p/s And I cannot believe YOU, JASMINE CHUAH, added me as your BFF in FB! HAHA! Which is what prompted me to write this post! And honestly, I'm a tad touched that you thought of me! I'm going to dedicate a post to you next time! Mark my words woman!

Tremor

Oh wow. Yesterday was scary.

It was the second time I've ever felt an earthquake!

The first was in 2004, during the "Tsunami" quake. I was at home, online, when suddenly, I felt dizzy. I thought maybe it was due to a lack of sleep (I really was lacking in sleep!). But the next day, I found out that there was an earthquake, which led to the disastrous Tsunami.

5 years later (well, almost).

I was still at my office when I felt dizzy. Like really dizzy. It's as if the world is spinning around. I tried ignoring it, until I heard my colleague saying she felt dizzy too. So I got out of my room, and asked her. THEN everybody said they felt the same way. It was already after working hours, so I quickly turned off my laptop, packed my stuffs, and headed to my car. It is only then that I heard about the earthquake in Sumatra from the radio.

Scary, I tell you.

And mind you, my office is only on the 5th floor. But then, I've heard from a lot of people that this particular building was built on soft soil, and somehow, the building is slightly slanted.

To think I'm risking my life EVERY DAY at work! So not worth it!

Anyway, I sure hope that no Tsunami will occur this time.

Current Life in Brief

Brief, as in concise. Not underwear.

Anyway, don't have much time to blog anymore. Work is seeping into my life and sucking every bit of it. Which is why...

I ACTUALLY FREAKIN' JOINED A GYM!!!

UNBELIEVABLE RIGHT?! I'm like the least expected person to actually exercise!

It wasn't really my idea. The BF wanted to join the gym, and he was thinking of Fitness First. He used to join Celebrity Fitness, but didn't like the crowd and congestion there.

Since Fitness First is less than 5 minutes away from me, ah heck, why not join him?

I've only joined about 3 days ago, and already I've been there twice! Don't know how long will I stay motivated to exercise though. =P

This conversation transpired:

Dad: How long do you think your sister can continue to go to the gym on a regular basis?

Bro: As long as Neil goes.

How true. Lol!

Anyways, bro joined the gym two days after us. So Fitness First just got itself three new members!

Right now, my body is aching like nobody's business. What do you expect from a person who has not been exercising for, well, her whole life?

I still cannot believe I actually joined!!!

Two weeks flew by, just *snaps fingers* like that!

Sigh...

And it wasn't really a break to begin with!

For those of you not in the know, I took two weeks off before I officially start work as a soon-to-be legal assistant. I wanted to take a whole month off, but I feel bad for being so greedy. Regret!

Anyway...

The last two weeks was spent on spending (hah!).

So yes, I.IS.BROKE.

I spent on bags, spent on haircut, spent on my dogs, spent on food, spent spent spent.

SAD CASE LA!

And now, it's all over. No more long breaks for me for a verryyyyyy long time.

How I yearn to go back to being a student. I can ponteng whenever I feel like it, study only when my parents start to nag, sleep late, wake up late, bla bla bla.

Now? BLAH!

On a slightly happier tone, I'm going to be called to the bar this Friday! Woot!

How time flies eh? 9 months came and gone, just like that. I'm no more a chambee! Which is not THAT good other than the slight monetary increment. Now that I'm no more a chambee, I have more responsibilities! Noooo! And I am supposed to actually KNOW a lot of stuffs now, which I don't!

Grr...

Legal profession, why oh why did I end up being in you?

Want!

Okay, so I think I've made up my mind what phone to get.

If you're a techie person yourself, please don't tell me to get the HTC Touch Pro 2 instead of HTC Touch Pro because, well, the "2" is self-explanatory.

I KNOW LA THAT THE SECOND VERSION IS BETTER! Stop rubbing it in already!

But I have NO MONEY to buy the "2" la! I don't even have enough money right now to buy the 1st one!

ARGH!

So, boh pian lor, the 1st version will have to do.

Hopefully the price has gone down now that "2" is out. Before this, probably a few months back, HTC Touch Pro costs RM2,799. I hope it's now at least below RM2,500.

MONEY NO ENOUGH ARRRRR!!!

Decisions, Decisions

So many things to decide!

(1) To get a new handphone or not?

(2) If yes, what phone to get?

(3) If I find my dream phone, will I have enough money for it?

(4) What to do after this: litigation or "conveyancing"?

Referring to (4), I don't know why people generally divide the legal practice to litigation or conveyancing, when in fact, there are so many in-betweens.

Personally, I don't quite like the litigation work-scope. But everybody tells me that I should start off with litigation, which is true. For one, I will get to meet more people.

BUT I DON'T LIKE THE WORK! I prefer solicitors' kinda work, but with that, I'll have less opportunity to meet members of the legal profession. All I'll meet are clients (mostly troublesome ones)! Plus having to stay in the firm for the WHOLE DAY for FIVE DAYS A WEEK is going to drive me nuts.

I hate making decisions.

Energy, where art thou?

Why do I feel like a truck just ran over me, reversed, rinse and repeat?

Ugh.

It's not as though I sleep late. I'm like an OLD LADY now who heads to bed at 11.00 p.m.! I used to sleep at 4.00 a.m. and wake up at 6.00 a.m., and I was bright as the sunshine!

Now?!

It has to be signs of aging, I tell you.

Maybe it's because my life is too boring. Too mundane. Too routine. But then again, I don't know how else I want my life to be.

Haiya the weather is already gloomy as it is, what with raining non-stop since two nights ago. Don't want to further bring myself down.

I've consumed a bottle of Eu Yan Sang's Essence of Chicken. It had BETTER WORK! YOSH!